And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
