home. puking in laundry basket.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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