I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
