i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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