Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
