Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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