You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
