I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
