did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
