Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
