all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
