The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I smell stomach acid.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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