is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
