that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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