he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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