I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize