you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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