By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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