Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
