I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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