Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I take back everything I said about communal showers
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
