addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize