Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
where am i from again
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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