I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
