marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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