that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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