Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize