I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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