Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
