So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
