Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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