"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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