Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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