My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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