Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
