I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
