I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
