Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
