my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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