Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
