I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
