Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
