everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
