Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
