I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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