I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
