singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
