escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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