She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize