these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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