shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
