i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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