How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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