Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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